1) You are on your way to work, when suddenly a wormhole to the far side of the galaxy opens in the middle of the road. You are thus the first to meet the alien being that emerges. Despite your protestations, you are now Earth’s unofficial First Contact ambassador. What will you say to the visitor?
My knee jerk reaction is "Go Back!" followed by "Howdy!" and closely then by "This will all end in tears." My first duty is to the populace of earth. Are these wormhole travelers friendly? Have they come to burn a path of cleansing to make way for future McSpacey's and Asrtobuck's plasma coffee pods? Are they giving out blankets with a virus that will wipe out my people. (Go check a history book about smallpox...I'll wait here) See what I did there? Next, if they are in fact friendly then I now have a duty to them. I need to protect them if I can from all and any of the less than honorable organizations, cultures, and persons on earth. So, really it is more than likely that one way or another my life as I know it ended with the opening of said wormhole. You cannot unring a bell. You may not divide by zero. Anonymous is not your army.
2) A wandering trading caravan emerges from the wormhole. They plan to stay on Earth for a few weeks, and then will move on to the next planet and the next. Whatever you said must have really impressed them, because they offer to let you and a few other humans come along with them. The only catch is that the caravan probably won’t be back to Earth. Would you go? Why or why not?
If MJ can and wants to come with me then I am game. No MJ? No Eagle. End of story. I said good day sir.
3) Suppose you decided to go. The master of the caravan will allow you to bring along whatever trinkets and baubles you think will sell on alien worlds, and will also allow you to bring exactly five other items that you may always keep. Clearly, he does not mean practical items like shoes or a toothbrush. What would you bring?
1. a mala
2. a comfortable and sturdy hat
3. sturdy sunglasses
4. wallet sized collection of pictures of my family
5. a bouncy ball of some kind
4) Suppose you decided to stay home after all. The caravan master offers you a parting gift. You may choose among super-brain pills, a flying car, a robot butler, or an invisibility belt. Which would you choose and why?
Robot Butler! I have been fairly forthright that I would love to have my own personal terminator. Although as of late I wonder if a house elf would be less likely to turn on me. Still Robot Butler! make them look like either like Rosie from the Jetsons, Sonny from I, Robot, or David Bowie circa Spiders From Mars.
5) Suppose you ended up taking the super-brain pills. You now have a head the size, shape, and color of a watermelon. But you also now have the most fantastic mind the world has ever seen. What would be the first task you set it to?
Peaceful resolutions to all international conflicts. That is right. No more war. Followed closely with worldwide free energy. If I am so smart there is no reason that I could not work on both at the same time. Especially since my current brain sees pretty direct ties between the two as it is.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
wait...wut?
1. If you had to have a Siamese Twin, who would you want it to be and why?
I think that it is clear that said person would be my twin. Duh.
2. Would you rather be connected at the top of the head, or at the waist and why?
If you are gonna let me pick where we are connected then I opt for the pinky toe.
3. Make up a definition to the made up word "kituxilicious". Use it in a sentence.
kituxilicious is an uncomfortable condition. a stitch in your side from overeating. This condition is usually in combination with meat sweats. Bobby was sidelined with kituxilicious and meat sweats after attempting the KFC Double Down.
4. Do you think there is something ultimately good about everyone? Everyone has dark and light sides. Though it is true that some hide their light from the world.
5. Would you relive your high school days? Why/why not?
No thank you. If I did it all over again I don't trust myself to make the same mistakes and/or decisions. Then, I may have never met MJ.
I think that it is clear that said person would be my twin. Duh.
2. Would you rather be connected at the top of the head, or at the waist and why?
If you are gonna let me pick where we are connected then I opt for the pinky toe.
3. Make up a definition to the made up word "kituxilicious". Use it in a sentence.
kituxilicious is an uncomfortable condition. a stitch in your side from overeating. This condition is usually in combination with meat sweats. Bobby was sidelined with kituxilicious and meat sweats after attempting the KFC Double Down.
4. Do you think there is something ultimately good about everyone? Everyone has dark and light sides. Though it is true that some hide their light from the world.
5. Would you relive your high school days? Why/why not?
No thank you. If I did it all over again I don't trust myself to make the same mistakes and/or decisions. Then, I may have never met MJ.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
So long Goldie's: From made of win to made of meh.
Friends, Trolls, and People Cooler than Me,
Today, I come to you with a heavy heart. What I am about to share has been bothering me for a while now. I wish to air out my feelings about Goldie's Patio Grill. The first Goldie's Patio Grill was opened in 1962 by Goldie and Melvin Crow. It is still operated by the Crow family today. Goldie's burgers, chicken and steaks are specially seasoned and cooked to order, creating an exceptional taste experience. Our goal is to provide guests with great tasting food and friendly prompt service at a reasonable price. This is what the web site states. Now, I know not if it be true; but I have heard that this first opened spot was on the 9th hole of Tulsa's Southern Hills Country Club. I used to love Goldie's. I have even lusted for the old t-shirts that asked: "Is is the meat or the pickles?" At one time I went to the Owasso location so often that the wait staff knew my order by heart. When I worked at a call center in Tulsa's northeast corner I would take the bad marks and rear chewing for being late from going to the 21st & Garnette location. Now that is look back that may have been the beginning of the end of our affair. The service at that location was more or less a gamble. You may get a good server and in and out in time for an hour lunch but sadly more often than not you would be late. I even resorted to changing around my order so I picked items that took less time to cook. As of late I have been going to the location just west of Sheridan on 61st street. The service is just painful at any of the locations currently open. That being said I have all but stopped going to any of them at all. The last good Goldie's encounter I had was over three years ago. It started with sub par service and grew to infect the food going out the pass. Goldie's used to be my favorite spot for a burger and Dr Pepper. I guess unless I hear that things have changed for the better I will just be left with memories. As for now I get my special with bacon and cheese elsewhere.
Today, I come to you with a heavy heart. What I am about to share has been bothering me for a while now. I wish to air out my feelings about Goldie's Patio Grill. The first Goldie's Patio Grill was opened in 1962 by Goldie and Melvin Crow. It is still operated by the Crow family today. Goldie's burgers, chicken and steaks are specially seasoned and cooked to order, creating an exceptional taste experience. Our goal is to provide guests with great tasting food and friendly prompt service at a reasonable price. This is what the web site states. Now, I know not if it be true; but I have heard that this first opened spot was on the 9th hole of Tulsa's Southern Hills Country Club. I used to love Goldie's. I have even lusted for the old t-shirts that asked: "Is is the meat or the pickles?" At one time I went to the Owasso location so often that the wait staff knew my order by heart. When I worked at a call center in Tulsa's northeast corner I would take the bad marks and rear chewing for being late from going to the 21st & Garnette location. Now that is look back that may have been the beginning of the end of our affair. The service at that location was more or less a gamble. You may get a good server and in and out in time for an hour lunch but sadly more often than not you would be late. I even resorted to changing around my order so I picked items that took less time to cook. As of late I have been going to the location just west of Sheridan on 61st street. The service is just painful at any of the locations currently open. That being said I have all but stopped going to any of them at all. The last good Goldie's encounter I had was over three years ago. It started with sub par service and grew to infect the food going out the pass. Goldie's used to be my favorite spot for a burger and Dr Pepper. I guess unless I hear that things have changed for the better I will just be left with memories. As for now I get my special with bacon and cheese elsewhere.
Friday, June 25, 2010
5q
1. When is your usual bedtime?
Between 10:30 and 11:00
2. How many hours of sleep do you need?
6 to 7
3. Do you usually remember your dreams?
I usually do not.
4. How many pillows do you sleep with?
2 but they are really flat.
5. What is the wildest dream you've ever had?
Kanye West taught me math. I remembered and it really has helped.
Between 10:30 and 11:00
2. How many hours of sleep do you need?
6 to 7
3. Do you usually remember your dreams?
I usually do not.
4. How many pillows do you sleep with?
2 but they are really flat.
5. What is the wildest dream you've ever had?
Kanye West taught me math. I remembered and it really has helped.
Friday, June 18, 2010
A Day At the Beach
A Day At the Beach
1. Is your favorite beach at the lake or ocean?
Ocean. Going to the beach at the lake is akin to laying in dirt but by a large puddle.
2. Do you wear a life jacket when you go swimming?
No. I am that hardcore.
3. Do you enjoy water sports, such as skiing and boating?
You sicko...oh, that, not so much.
4. Do you ever think about the animals that live in the water when you are swimming?
Yes, especially how many teeth they have and if they have eaten lately.
5. Do you like to just lay in the sun or do you want to play in the water as well?
I mostly want to be in the water. Just laying in the sun gets old real quick like. Why just bake when you could float?
1. Is your favorite beach at the lake or ocean?
Ocean. Going to the beach at the lake is akin to laying in dirt but by a large puddle.
2. Do you wear a life jacket when you go swimming?
No. I am that hardcore.
3. Do you enjoy water sports, such as skiing and boating?
You sicko...oh, that, not so much.
4. Do you ever think about the animals that live in the water when you are swimming?
Yes, especially how many teeth they have and if they have eaten lately.
5. Do you like to just lay in the sun or do you want to play in the water as well?
I mostly want to be in the water. Just laying in the sun gets old real quick like. Why just bake when you could float?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
just super
1) If you could turn invisible, what would you do with this ability?
Find a way to make money off it.
2) If you could fly, how would you do it? Wings? Rocket pack? Purely under your own power, like Superman?
Like Superman. Wings are just not good for normal day to day life. A rocket pack can be stolen or taken against your will. Yes, I have thought about this.
3) If you could tranform into other people, look however you wanted, how would you choose to look, or who would you turn into?
This kinda goes hand and hand with question #1. Most of the things I can think of do to with this power are sneaky and would be used in a distasteful manner. In such cases I would expect to be well compensated.
4) If you could turn into an animal, which animal would it be?
I think domesticated cats have a fairly easy go of things. Eat, sleep, belly rub, chase shadows, remix, repeat.
5) If you had superpowers, would you use them to become a vigilante superhero, fighting crime?
Really I have been thinking about this quite a bit as of late. I keep watching the footage of the oil spill and thinking. “Superman could stop that easy”. No, really, this has been on my thoughts. Have the Hulk tie the pipe in a knot or shove a stopper in the opening. Flash running in a circle around the rig would cause a cyclone effect and he is ideal for clean up. As much crap as Aquaman gets, can you honestly tell me who would be better suited for this job? I guess what I am saying is that if you had superpowers why stop at crime or vigilante when you could do so much more to make the world a better place.
Find a way to make money off it.
2) If you could fly, how would you do it? Wings? Rocket pack? Purely under your own power, like Superman?
Like Superman. Wings are just not good for normal day to day life. A rocket pack can be stolen or taken against your will. Yes, I have thought about this.
3) If you could tranform into other people, look however you wanted, how would you choose to look, or who would you turn into?
This kinda goes hand and hand with question #1. Most of the things I can think of do to with this power are sneaky and would be used in a distasteful manner. In such cases I would expect to be well compensated.
4) If you could turn into an animal, which animal would it be?
I think domesticated cats have a fairly easy go of things. Eat, sleep, belly rub, chase shadows, remix, repeat.
5) If you had superpowers, would you use them to become a vigilante superhero, fighting crime?
Really I have been thinking about this quite a bit as of late. I keep watching the footage of the oil spill and thinking. “Superman could stop that easy”. No, really, this has been on my thoughts. Have the Hulk tie the pipe in a knot or shove a stopper in the opening. Flash running in a circle around the rig would cause a cyclone effect and he is ideal for clean up. As much crap as Aquaman gets, can you honestly tell me who would be better suited for this job? I guess what I am saying is that if you had superpowers why stop at crime or vigilante when you could do so much more to make the world a better place.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Grillin' Out
1. What side dish do you like the most: potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, etc.
MJ makes awesome baked beans. Diced onions, diced bell peppers, garlic, and she drains the juice or sauce from the beans and replaces it with our preferred BBQ sauce. Usually Head Country or Sweet Baby Ray's. Potato salad is only finding its way to my plate if it is mashed I am not a fan of the diced variant. Also, the leftovers of such is the best as I mix in bacon bits and reheat it. I really have no time or plate space for macaroni salad at all.
2. Do you prefer food grilled on a charcoal or gas grill?
Wood burning grill is my top choice. However, I do realize that it is much easier and a more even heat on gas grills. Dad always used wood burning but MJ always swore she could taste 87 octane in every bite. So, that is not a direction that is encouraged.
3. Do you want just one meat item, or a mixture: such as chicken, steaks, hot dogs, hamburgers, etc.
If I am calling the shots it is 93% lean ground beef burgers and thick sliced bologna. I also love making (but do not partake myself) in wrapping up ears of corn in foil with some salt sprinkled in and a tab of butter already in there. Oh yeah!
4. Do you want to eat outside or inside?
Outside if we can. In Oklahoma the wind is always blowing and temps are above 85 from June 1st into September. So, first ask; will I melt? If the answer is maybe or no then, one must have a battle plan. Where to keep the napkins to keep from loosing them. How sturdy is your drink? Keep a good grip on your plate. Where is the dog? It is a learned practice.
5. Does it bother you to have citronella candles burning if you are eating or cooking outside?
A little citronella is much better than a raptor sized bug sucking your blood. No kidding, I have seen bugs so big at my Mom's place that you can clearly see camouflage coloring on their bodies. Citronella is the lesser of two evils if you will. Take the good with the bad.
MJ makes awesome baked beans. Diced onions, diced bell peppers, garlic, and she drains the juice or sauce from the beans and replaces it with our preferred BBQ sauce. Usually Head Country or Sweet Baby Ray's. Potato salad is only finding its way to my plate if it is mashed I am not a fan of the diced variant. Also, the leftovers of such is the best as I mix in bacon bits and reheat it. I really have no time or plate space for macaroni salad at all.
2. Do you prefer food grilled on a charcoal or gas grill?
Wood burning grill is my top choice. However, I do realize that it is much easier and a more even heat on gas grills. Dad always used wood burning but MJ always swore she could taste 87 octane in every bite. So, that is not a direction that is encouraged.
3. Do you want just one meat item, or a mixture: such as chicken, steaks, hot dogs, hamburgers, etc.
If I am calling the shots it is 93% lean ground beef burgers and thick sliced bologna. I also love making (but do not partake myself) in wrapping up ears of corn in foil with some salt sprinkled in and a tab of butter already in there. Oh yeah!
4. Do you want to eat outside or inside?
Outside if we can. In Oklahoma the wind is always blowing and temps are above 85 from June 1st into September. So, first ask; will I melt? If the answer is maybe or no then, one must have a battle plan. Where to keep the napkins to keep from loosing them. How sturdy is your drink? Keep a good grip on your plate. Where is the dog? It is a learned practice.
5. Does it bother you to have citronella candles burning if you are eating or cooking outside?
A little citronella is much better than a raptor sized bug sucking your blood. No kidding, I have seen bugs so big at my Mom's place that you can clearly see camouflage coloring on their bodies. Citronella is the lesser of two evils if you will. Take the good with the bad.
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