somewhere, OOOOOover the wormhole...

1) You are on your way to work, when suddenly a wormhole to the far side of the galaxy opens in the middle of the road. You are thus the first to meet the alien being that emerges. Despite your protestations, you are now Earth’s unofficial First Contact ambassador. What will you say to the visitor?
My knee jerk reaction is "Go Back!" followed by "Howdy!" and closely then by "This will all end in tears." My first duty is to the populace of earth. Are these wormhole travelers friendly? Have they come to burn a path of cleansing to make way for future McSpacey's and Asrtobuck's plasma coffee pods? Are they giving out blankets with a virus that will wipe out my people. (Go check a history book about smallpox...I'll wait here) See what I did there? Next, if they are in fact friendly then I now have a duty to them. I need to protect them if I can from all and any of the less than honorable organizations, cultures, and persons on earth. So, really it is more than likely that one way or another my life as I know it ended with the opening of said wormhole. You cannot unring a bell. You may not divide by zero. Anonymous is not your army.

2) A wandering trading caravan emerges from the wormhole. They plan to stay on Earth for a few weeks, and then will move on to the next planet and the next. Whatever you said must have really impressed them, because they offer to let you and a few other humans come along with them. The only catch is that the caravan probably won’t be back to Earth. Would you go? Why or why not?
If MJ can and wants to come with me then I am game. No MJ? No Eagle. End of story. I said good day sir.

3) Suppose you decided to go. The master of the caravan will allow you to bring along whatever trinkets and baubles you think will sell on alien worlds, and will also allow you to bring exactly five other items that you may always keep. Clearly, he does not mean practical items like shoes or a toothbrush. What would you bring?
1. a mala
2. a comfortable and sturdy hat
3. sturdy sunglasses
4. wallet sized collection of pictures of my family
5. a bouncy ball of some kind

4) Suppose you decided to stay home after all. The caravan master offers you a parting gift. You may choose among super-brain pills, a flying car, a robot butler, or an invisibility belt. Which would you choose and why?
Robot Butler! I have been fairly forthright that I would love to have my own personal terminator. Although as of late I wonder if a house elf would be less likely to turn on me. Still Robot Butler! make them look like either like Rosie from the Jetsons, Sonny from I, Robot, or David Bowie circa Spiders From Mars.

5) Suppose you ended up taking the super-brain pills. You now have a head the size, shape, and color of a watermelon. But you also now have the most fantastic mind the world has ever seen. What would be the first task you set it to?
Peaceful resolutions to all international conflicts. That is right. No more war. Followed closely with worldwide free energy. If I am so smart there is no reason that I could not work on both at the same time. Especially since my current brain sees pretty direct ties between the two as it is.